Garzology (crazy talking)

Here are 3 examples of my crazy talking, which I call Garzology. When I'm home alone, I do the crazy talking from time to time. I have 2 voices: my normal-to-shrill voice, and my "gruff" low-pitched voice.

Example 1) When I step out of the shower, I often use my normal-to-shrill voice. The following example is relatively stereotyped (not too much variation):

Reginald! You're mother and I don't like you anymore. No, we don't like your brain at all. You're going to have to be put to death. And because we're so evil, Reginald, you're going to die slowly. Yes, Reginald, that is correct. You're simply going to have to be tortured to death. Should you wish to avoid being tortured to death, Reginald, we strongly suggest that you commit suicide immediately. Because you see, Reginald, if you FAIL to commit suicide THIS INSTANT, then you're simply going to have to be tortured to death. And we wouldn't want that to happen, now would we, Reginald? Of course we wouldn't. So you see, Reginald, you're simply going to have to kill yourself, if you don't want to be tortured to death.

Example 2) Most of the time, I use my gruff (growly and low-pitched voice). I used to do this in my car, but I don't do that anymore. Now it's just when I'm at home:

I'm violent and I'm deadly. He hates us a great deal. I'll kill you! Crushing him to death. Because I'm a violent man. And, because Christ hates us a great deal. My god, he's trying to kill us with his brain! You vicious bastard of filth! You're nothing but an evil dentist. You're a scoundrel and a wastrel. You're a scalawag and a rogue. The brain of Christ must be destroyed. Because I'm the President of the United States. And a Member of Parliament. Some day I yearn to become, the Vice Regal Chancellor of the Exchequer. But for now I shall have to content myself with being the American President. Did you know that I'm a dental surgery department? You didn't? You mean to tell me, that you didn't even know that I'm a dentist? Why how dare you attempt to torture me to death, without first mangling my only dentist. You killed my dog. You killed it with your evil brain.

Example 3) Whenever I'm depressed and go to bed, I often think nonsense sentences like the following (not saying them out loud):

Enjoy your go-into bed-sh'n, he voaped, boojly, as his yenzo-smayf, smoafed, briffed, and vordo-blayshed with its own smafto-blench, bojo-dorfed us to death with its blifto-borg-like yowzo smurf of us all zifto-glorp. He zogged, difto-bractically, as his durvo-jorp, yunft, ginked, and glacto-zurped with its own morvo-smog, jobo-glurked us to death yaftically and binzically, he smorft bojjly, as his smifto-blurj, goffed, gorzo-smayft, and mingo-jurped snoodly, borvo-goffed us to death with its own yorzo-gronch.